integrating's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"just a rant"

I'm not the happiest camper in the park.
Still wondering if my dad was happy
to hear from me.
He gave me my aunt's number. I called
her this morning and she said he seemed
upset he didn't get my number on
caller I.D. because it came up private.
So, that makes me feel better.


I don't know why I put so much stock
in maintaining a relationship with
him. He has hurt me so much over the years.
I guess I'm still living like a 3 yr old
in my head.
Daddy's little girl.
Things were so different then.


Then there's the issue with my 17 yr old
cutting the cord I am so desperately
hanging on to.
We were always so tight. Very close.
Now he's too busy with school, working,
and his social life to send me a simple
text. It is truly breaking my heart.


And now, at the end of the day...
I had to take the bus to the grocery
store so I would have something to eat
today. I only had $7 to my name.
Get home and there's a letter from
the food stamp office telling me
I had to send proof of how much I
spend on medications a month. Just got
it today and they want it by the 6th.
No jumping hoops there.
So again I had to get on the frikkin bus
and go to the pharmacy and request that info.
Now I gotta go out again tomorrow
to pick it up. The return envelope
got wet so I had to stuff all the
paperwork in a tiny little envelope
and waste my last stamp.
Bus pass expires today, don't get
my check til Thurs so I'm gonna
have to dig for change to ride the
bus tomorrow.


Every time I have to ride the bus
my back kills me by the time I get
home.
Don't know if I mentioned it but
I have arthritis and scoliosis in my
spine, lumbar constantly spasms, and
I have bone spurs in my lower back
which causes pinched nerves.
I'm too young to be so fucked up
physically.


Just a rant. Sorry I wasted your time.

5:03 p.m. - 01.31.12

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next