integrating's Diaryland Diary

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\"waiting\"

My diary is permanently fucked up as I do not know
how to fix it. I try to change my template and it
only changes the last entry.
Who gives a fuck anyway.

I'm having terrible anxiety today fearing that
my father is going to call me and start brow-beating
me about getting a job.
My aunt and my mother both have said I'm not ready
to work. I need to heal. Which I felt like I was
doing until I stupidly called my father.

To change the subject, the iwearhats diary is funny.
It was during a time that I hated my mother.
We've gotten through that and now I love my mother
and dread the moment she dies.
During that time of that diary I was working, had
friends and bashed my mother.

My father sent 3 packages to me via UPS. One of
them is a printer. Don't know where the hell I'm
going to put it. I have so many cords behind my desk
I'm afraid to add another one.

I was talking to my dad last night. He gets frustrated
if you don't get what he's talking about if you don't
get it the first time and he was getting frustrated
with me. It makes me very anxious.

So nothing to do today but wait for the computer
tech, and possibly UPS. I sometimes feel lonely, but when a friend comes over I immediately want them to
leave. I don't understand this. Something I need to
speak to my psychiatrist with.

Hope you are well and having a great day.

11:57 a.m. - 02.28.12

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