integrating's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bitch is.... I have to come here and vent. Can't talk to my mom about Kris because in her eyes Kris can do no wrong. (Kris is my eldest son.) He spent a year in Iraq and came home with PTSD. He has zero patience for anything. Can't stand waiting in line at WalMart. He can't tolerate the crowds. He'll just leave his basket and go out to the car. He hates sitting at red lights and cusses the whole time. Ahd he can't wait for me to shop while he's in the car. The other day he was so pissed off, my butt hadn't even sat down in the car seat and he's taking off. I'm like, "Whoa, settle down!" This pisses him off so bad he speeds through the parking lane and I was so scared he was going to hit a car backing out or worse, a person, God forbid a child. I kept shouting, "I don't have my seat belt on!" He shouts out he's going to kill me. I thought yeah you are if I don't get my seat belt on because if you hit something I'm going through the windshield. I couldn't get it on because he was speeding through the parking lot and making turns and sudden stops. He gets behind a truck waiting to turn into traffic from the WalMart parking lot. Apparently he was taking too long because Kris quickly goes into reverse and finds another exit. I am so scared to ride with him when he's in one of his "episodes", which happens with great frequency. I had him take me to a shoe store. He hates waiting so I'm going as fast as I can. He comes into the store and says he's leaving, so I grab the shoes I'm trying on and check out. He asks if I want to get a sandwich at Subway. I said, "Sure. You paying this time?" He says he doesn't have any money. I'm like, "You're broke! How can you be broke in the middle of the month?!" He gets more disability than I do. So I said, "Well if you had told me you were broke I wouldn't have spent $40 on a new pair of shoes!" This kind of cooled his jets a bit. But when we got home I asked if he would take me back to the store so I could get a refund. He said yes. The next day I get up and get ready and wait for him all day to wake up. I hear him laughing in his room, so I go and knock on his door. He jerks it open like he always does and I ask him if he's going to take me to the shoe store. He screams at me with rage,"NO!!!" I kept asking why not and he won't answer me. So I'm stewing over these $40 shoes that I don't even like. I tell him when he's calmed down that I don't like the shoes will he please take me. So finally today he took me to exchange for the shoes I really wanted. So I'm talking to my mom on the phone about it all and she just starts yelling at me. (Kris can do no wrong, remember?) So I'm like, I've been treated like shit enough for one day. I tell her I'll talk to her later and hung up on her. I'm still not talking to her. The bitch is....I've sworn to myself that I'll never ever let another man abuse me in any form and now I'm having to deal with it by my own son. 4:54 a.m. - 11.18.13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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