integrating's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dad=mental I have come to realize that my father and I have a routine. I cry to him about my horrible living conditions and it gets to him so he wants me to come live with him. I in my mind thinks this escape is going to save me. So I say yes, I want to move to MT. Then I start having panic attacks and in my heart and mind I realize I don't want to go after all. This has got to be the last time. He has spent almost $400 on a non-refundable airplane ticket and bought me a bed and shampooed the carpet. I feel bad, but the trip to see if I like it or not has become the you can't come if you don't want to come live here. And he says he's never going to help me again. Help me again? He's never helped me. So here I am again in the position to tell him I'm not coming. That cause knots in my stomach and anxiety. Lots of it. So I just have to keep saving money and make it work somehow. I don't think I ever complained about my living conditions when I lived alone. I'll have to read back on that one. I do know I prefer to live alone. Less drama. Ok. I have 6 hours to get some sleep before my Dr appt. 4:58 a.m. - 06.20.16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||