integrating's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- woe is me I eat small meals about every 3 to 4 hours. My dad can go hours without eating. I'm diabetic, anyway, everytime I say I'm hungry he says, You eat all the time, which is bullshit. So Tuesday I had to go to the dr. I ate a sausage about 9am. About noon I started feeling dizzy and shaky and knew I needed to eat something but didn't dare say anything because my dad would've said, you've always got something in your mouth, or something to that effect. So my dr appt was at 3:30. I decide to go to the bathroom before they call me. I go out into the hallway and got so dizzy I felt drunk. I thought I'd better go back to the dr.s office and when I turned around I fainted. I've never fainted before. When I came around I was face down on the floor. I got up real slow in case I was still dizzy. Ya wanna know the bitch? A teenage boy walked right by me as it happened and he was looking at his phone the whole time. He's standing within 10 ft of me as I'm getting up. Guess he thought I was taking a little power nap. Yesterday my dad came banging on my door at 10am for me to get up. Sometimes I can't sleep and well, sleep late. This don't fly with him. He gets up at 6 and thinks everybody else should too. Anyway, he starts bitching me out and I timed it. He bitched at me for half an hour. Called me "dumb" and "shit for brains". Have I not suffered enough abuse?? I swear! So I just sit there and take it. Finally he gets over it and has been nice ever since. That doesn't mean I don't walk around him like a cobra. He's always breathing down my neck. If I'm on the phone he wants to know who I'm talking to. If I'm on the computer he wants to know what I'm doing. One time I was on FB looking at some video clip AJ posted and I was laughing. He comes in here with this eat shit look on his face and told me to do something productive. Cheese and rice, let me breathe! So right now he and a friend are out driving his topless, windowless jeep in the mountains. I begged off for some time alone...He went to a fund-raiser last week from Wed thru Saturday and he would call to see if I was up. RRRRRRRRRRRR Still wouldn't go back to where I was before. We're looking for a vehicle for me. I think as soon as I get one I should apply for public housing....Big Daddy gives me knots in my stomach. 12:43 p.m. - 08.11.16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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