integrating's Diaryland Diary

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i don't care

I've been busy to avoid curling up in the fetal position and feeding my despair and crippling depression.
I need a pet to love and take care of, talk to, cry to, cuddle with, love me unconditionally. I prefer cats.

My dad has 9 indoor cats that he doesn't take care of. So when Sasha passed, I was very depressed, broke down sobbing constantly. It's gotten easier, of course.
I took Sasha's body to my dad's because he has a little pet cemetery on his property. I took home one of the cats. I'm too depressed to tell the story. It didn't work out, took him back to my dad's. Tried another one. All these cats have known me since they were born. So this cat is either hidden really well, or got out somehow. I brought her home with me this past Saturday. I've been very worried about her not drinking or eating. I've been letting it pull me into depression.

Today I stopped caring. Today I've been busy to avoid the debilitating depression. Today I can't help it.

12:43 p.m. - 06.09.20

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