integrating's Diaryland
Diary
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"just a rant"
I'm not the happiest camper in the park. Still wondering if my dad was happy to hear from me. He gave me my aunt's number. I called her this morning and she said he seemed upset he didn't get my number on caller I.D. because it came up private. So, that makes me feel better.
I don't know why I put so much stock in maintaining a relationship with him. He has hurt me so much over the years. I guess I'm still living like a 3 yr old in my head. Daddy's little girl. Things were so different then.
Then there's the issue with my 17 yr old cutting the cord I am so desperately hanging on to. We were always so tight. Very close. Now he's too busy with school, working, and his social life to send me a simple text. It is truly breaking my heart.
And now, at the end of the day... I had to take the bus to the grocery store so I would have something to eat today. I only had $7 to my name. Get home and there's a letter from the food stamp office telling me I had to send proof of how much I spend on medications a month. Just got it today and they want it by the 6th. No jumping hoops there. So again I had to get on the frikkin bus and go to the pharmacy and request that info. Now I gotta go out again tomorrow to pick it up. The return envelope got wet so I had to stuff all the paperwork in a tiny little envelope and waste my last stamp. Bus pass expires today, don't get my check til Thurs so I'm gonna have to dig for change to ride the bus tomorrow.
Every time I have to ride the bus my back kills me by the time I get home. Don't know if I mentioned it but I have arthritis and scoliosis in my spine, lumbar constantly spasms, and I have bone spurs in my lower back which causes pinched nerves. I'm too young to be so fucked up physically.
Just a rant. Sorry I wasted your time.
5:03 p.m. - 01.31.12
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