integrating's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fierce: having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness I've always stood up for the underdog. I had a huge curiosity about everything. According to my father, who calls me a fucking idiot at least once a day, tells me I'm retarded. I guess he doesn't remember constantly calling my name to ask me how to spell words when I was in elementary school. He doesn't know how many spelling bees I've been in. Third place to go to state. No beaming face at the play or the dance routine that we worked so hard on. So when I went to college, I took theater arts. I dreaded monologues. I completely sucked, unless I was playing a bitch. A girl in my class was impressed, Getting back to standing up for the underdog. I learned how to listen to that fucking speech, which I still remember, and at the same time let my little developing brain wander. It was always playing in the background so if I looked down and he yelled at me, "Are you listening to me!" He took me and my little brother away from my mother, who I never wanted to be away from, and took us from San Antonio all the way to the border of Louisiana without telling her. I was three, my brother was in diapers. Told me she had died of cancer, which she did last June. The weekly commandment at the dinner table, "You better not ever bring home a hippie or a nigger." One of my earliest memories was being the Fierce Defender of Livestock Being Auctioned Off. I'd finally had it. I was so pissed. So with my limited vocabulary I gave him a fierce warning. "YOU LEAVE THOSE COWS ALONE!!", to which every adult thought that was so cute and giggled. Well, I guess it was cute, but that pissed me off too! 8:11 a.m. - 05.15.20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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