integrating's Diaryland Diary

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Home Invasion

I don't know what happened. I've had days to think about it.

My jerk neighbor across the hall and I had a little argument. I guess he thought I deserved the punishment of being drugged, home invasion, sexual humiliation.

He and his idiot crackheads spent the evening at my home zoned on crack, while I was allowed to wear only my t-shirt. I managed to escape at least once because I remember being dragged back.

My house is completely destroyed. My pills all over the place.This is like a bad movie, it really is.

The words come and I have no place to put them. I'm trying to do everything by myself and I just can't.

After the home invasion splash mashing of my mind, I spent three days in the hospital. I am covered in bruises. There are so many bruises on my upper arm that you can tell are from fingers. My left thigh is one big black and blue and green mass.
They, the hospital, shuttled me to my apartment, Thursday? I had no shoes and no bra.

I start bawling like a little kid when they tell me it's time to go and I've got to get on that shuttle and go home by myself. The only thing that gave me the courage to do it was because my poor cat's been here for 3 days by herself. [and I'm being returned to the scene of the crime by myself.]

I walk inside. I see my home destroyed. Dismantled. The bedroom was just so, it was really bad. So I camped out in the living room so I can put my brains back in my brain pan.
I'm past the worst I guess.

They had put potting soil and water on my kitchen floor. Took whatever the fuck they wanted.

I'd really like to smash some teeth for that bullshit. I am however, flattered that they felt the need to incapacitate me, and outnumber me.

I'm mostly good now. My feelings are hurt that I had to make my dad feel bad for me, and Kris and AJ apparently don't care. So I am just living one hour at a time.

My kitchen is almost completely cleaned. I don't even know where to start in my bedroom. Everything was just tossed everywhere. All my meds are scattered about in the carpeting. I guess I have to get down on my hands and knees and pick up all those damn pills.
I was begging them all night please don't take my mother's jewelry.

I come home. I sit on the floor. I'm afraid. I hear the neighbor outside the window. I'm hungry, what do I do? Afraid to move. I don't know what to do and then I get pissed off that I am being a victim.

I summon what I know is deep down inside me. She's furious. I refuse to be a victim. I'm in charge now. Get the fuck up off the floor.

3:27 p.m. - 08.23.20

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