integrating's Diaryland Diary
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\"just a crutch\"
What gets me the most is that he said my medication
was a crutch. Where was he when I almost overdosed
and was screaming at the top of my lungs and almost
won a trip to the state hospital?
Where is he when I'm crying so hard in my therapists
office I can hardly get the words out?
This man has hurt me so badly over the years yet I keep
allowing it...And I don't know why.
Should I just stop answering his calls?
He helped me out this month with a little bit of money
and he said he was going to help me out every month.
Now I'm starting to doubt it, and like my mother says,
you'll get nothing for free from him. There aren't
strings attached, there's ropes.
I don't know but he's exhuasting me emotionally.
***
He just called to tell me he was sending me money.
I think he's bi-polar too. He's been on meds for years.
He gave me some of his pills once and I thought I
was going to have a heart attack. No wonder he's
constantly going.
I don't know. He's back and forth. But right now he's
pressuring me to get a job. I can't handle the general
public and my back is a wreck.
I feel like emailing him everything I've been diagnosed with.
He would probably just say it was a bunch of bullshit.
3:50 p.m. - 02.23.12
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