integrating's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "the snake".....Medieval Babes Haven't been here in a while. I think I am in denial about a lot of things. I hate living here. My mom is so sick I think she will not live much longer. My Aunt and I went to visit her Thursday. She's skinny as a rail. Can barely walk. Can barely breathe. She's on oxygen. I talked to her tonight and she said when she woke up her chest was hurting so bad she thought she was going to die. I'm so afraid of losing her... My cousin's daughter has moved out of her mother's house and lives in a rented RV in a park. I need to ask her lots of questions. I could live in an RV by myself. I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and feel like I'm stealing every time I eat anything. She hoards everything. There is a case of water on the table hidden. Nobody drinks it. I grab one as I'm leaving for church. Every one has a bottle of water in class and it makes me thirsty. She gives me a look like, are you kidding? You're taking my water? And like I said, nobody drinks them. I don't like to ask to borrow her car because she always makes a face that says she'd rather I didn't. So all week I'm trying to find a ride to town to pick up prescriptions. She never said, "Why don't you just use my car?" I'm the only one out of 3 adults who clean the bathroom. The only one who washes dishes, only one who will change a trash bag. It's just shit like that that makes me want to live by myself. Thankfully Derek took me to get my scripts today. She didn't say anything to me when I came in the door. Moments later her son, Sam came in and she sad hi to him. Makes me feel like shit. I gotta get outta here. 12:43 a.m. - 12.14.15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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